The outcomes of tests and surveys conducted over a number of years by psychologists have led to the following six stages of marriage. You may be able to ascertain your relationship’s current situation in an instant. It’s critical to keep in mind that your partnership is always changing. And although it may signify different things to different couples, scientists have discovered a typical path for the development of marriages. For many couples, that looks like this:
The Loving Relationship: During this first phase, meeting each other’s wants brings happiness to both partners. It is expected that each spouse will meet the needs of the other, and marriage helps to reaffirm this feeling of compassion and love. In spite of life’s distractions, the couple is able to gain a deeper understanding of one another.
The Honeymoon Is Over: At this time, the dynamics change when one spouse doesn’t live up to the other’s expectations, which causes hurt and disappointment. The idea that both parties bear some responsibility for the other’s welfare endures, but attempts to win over the other person and return to the original state of total love result in increasingly manipulative behaviors. When a relationship doesn’t reach its ideal, partners alternate between being critical and feeling wounded or let down. Love and compassion are no longer unconditional.
Getting Even: Anger is the result of disappointment and resentment, and it develops into a power struggle with frequent retaliatory acts. The battle acts as a buffer against continued disappointment at not being able to recapture the original loving relationship. Control concerns, such as money, sex, or quality time spent together, are the main source of arguments. Extramarital affairs can sometimes be committed in order to harm a spouse. Couples trying to manipulate one another through power dynamics are a reflection of unfulfilled expectations of unconditional love and acceptance, and this is reflected in the power struggle.
Holding on: Weary of fighting and aware that divorce may be imminent, spouses turn away from their problems and focus on other areas of their lives. The pair is committed to their marriage despite their waning romantic love, and they prioritize their common hobbies for the good of the family, such as home building, childrearing, or career success. Even if the pair is less satisfied with each other, they still have a good relationship because they work together on joint ventures.
following your own path. Couples acknowledge the illusion that they can rely on one another to meet their demands for dependence. When people realize this, they become more independent and self-assured and start looking for satisfaction on their own. The focus on seeking happiness moves from the partner to outside sources, signaling a period of rekindled desire but also an acceptance of the limitations of the partnership.
Growing up: The final stage is characterized by a shift in perspective toward the present and an acceptance of reality. People at this stage become independent and understand that a healthy partnership requires the preservation of a distinct emotional identity. Achieving success in this phase entails taking ownership of one’s joys and sorrows and becoming more open to relating to people, particularly one’s partner, in a more comprehensive manner.
Which stage is your relationship at? Feel free to comment below.
